Life Beside Christ
Life Beside Christ
The 80% Problem: Why We Only Pray at Our Extremes
Have you ever noticed yourself turning to God only when life hits extremes? After postponing this recording for nearly two months, I finally sat down to share a raw, unfiltered look at my personal faith struggles – specifically what I've come to call the "80% problem."
I realized that the vast majority of my prayer life happens only during the highest highs (when I'm grateful) and lowest lows (when I'm desperate). But what about the 80% of life that happens in between? This pattern revealed my ongoing battle with patience and trust – wanting God to provide immediate answers rather than embracing the waiting periods that are crucial to spiritual growth.
The Bible offers numerous examples of faithful waiting – Abraham and Sarah anticipating their promised child for decades, the Israelites wandering for 40 years before reaching the Promised Land. These stories make my impatience with waiting days or weeks seem trivial by comparison. Scripture directly addresses this human tendency in passages like Isaiah 40:31 ("those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength") and Romans 8:25 ("if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait patiently").
Perhaps most comforting is the understanding that God welcomes our authentic emotions. As Carter's father wisely shared, "God's got big shoulders" – we can approach Him with frustration, anger, and questions without turning away from faith. Like Job, questioning circumstances doesn't mean abandoning trust that God sees the complete picture when we can barely glimpse a fraction.
Whether you're struggling with patience, inconsistent prayer habits, or feeling distant from God during life's "middle ground" moments, know that you're not alone. Connect with us on Instagram @LifeBesideChristPodcast or email lifebesidechristpod@gmail.com to share your own experiences or prayer requests.
We love hearing from our listeners whether it's criticism, advice, or just thoughts on the conversation we had. Find us or reach out to us here:
•Email: lifebesidechristpod@gmail.com
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•Intro/Outro Music: "Our Days" by David Hays
Welcome back to the Life Beside Christ podcast. Bit of a strange episode here. I'll be honest. I put this off for quite a while close to two months really and it's I don't feel great about it. I'm not trying to make excuses, but I feel like one. I appreciate anyone who's really, I guess, listened to us and supported us. So I feel like part of it is I'm letting all of you guys down by putting this off. Um, I've just not selfishly, I've not had a lot of motivation to get this recorded. I guess and again, being honest, this is the third time in the last two months where I've sat down to try to record this episode. I just don't feel great about it. I don't feel like I'm ready to do this by myself. Um, but we'll see Quick update. Um, carter's almost halfway through his police academy. Uh, things are going good for him. He's enjoying it, he's learning a lot. We get to see him on the weekends and hear about all the stuff going on down there and things he's learning, which is cool and fun. Yeah, I think that's mainly the big update, but I'm not exactly sure. We're not really we. I'm not really going to follow in the spot in Matthew that we've been going in.
Speaker 1:I've kind of just had other things that I guess I've wanted to talk about or that I get. Really it's more of things that I've been struggling with. I don't know this, this may just be a really scattered I've been struggling with. I don't know, this may just be a really scattered conversation with myself and if you happen to listen to it, I guess you can kind of get an insight to my thoughts and my, I guess, overthinking. I hope maybe this can help someone else. I don't know how many answers I'll provide. I guess it's more of just sharing, sharing struggles and things that maybe I found some comfort in with the struggles. Had this, I had this, I guess, picture it popped into my head and it was like a self-realization and I not a good one, um, not a good one for myself where, if you can picture, you know, like a wave, like a graph, wavy, wavy, line, right, the highs and lows, the things that we go through, the highs and lows of our life, and I realized I would say 80% to 90% of my praying happens if, if, in this wavy graph, if you took the top 10% of the, the top of the curve, and the bottom 10% of the low, the bottom of the curves, I I feel like I feel like that's where I spend most of my prayer in when I get to those highs and lows. But I'm neglecting my relationship with God in the other 80% of the ups and downs of my life. And it is right now even.
Speaker 1:It's a hard thing for me to realize, to think about for myself, where things are going really well the highs, the top 10% of the highs that I feel like I go through and I feel good about when I'm praying and I'm thanking God, I'm giving thanks, and then I get down. You know, everyone does it. We go, I feel good about when I'm praying, then I'm thanking God, I'm giving thanks, and then I get down. Everyone does it. We go through different seasons. We go through the highs and lows. It can be in short spurts, it can be the big picture stuff, but we have highs and lows and I get down in the lows and the bottom 10%, I'm asking, I'm asking a lot, I'm not, I'm not giving thanks for a lot there and I'm asking for all these things from God. And then I feel, you know, the slow upward, and then I kind of get out of that bottom 10%. And then it's like, hey, things are going good. And then I realized I'm not praying as much as I was three days ago or a week ago or however long it was, because I was asking for these things all the time. Or then the highs I was so happy about the things that were going on, the things that I realized that I was thankful for in my life and it's not that I'm not thankful for those things in the other parts of my life.
Speaker 1:Um, on the ups and downs, I just I fail and I do a bad job of having a real relationship with God. It feels like Maybe I'm being hard on myself, maybe part of it, maybe we all go through that and this I just it's, it's. It's not what I want, it's not the relationship God wants with us, it's not the relationship I want with God. It's a very selfish relationship on my part and it beats me up. It's something that I need to get better and I think I'm getting better about it. Um, and I and I realized the thing that I struggle with the most is patience, being being patient and to go with that, I guess selfishly again, I guess I make excuses for myself and in my relationship with God and in my relationship with God.
Speaker 1:I, you know it's, I've said it before and I'm sure plenty of people will say it all the time you know God, if you, you were just sitting right across from me, it'd be so much easier. It'd be a lot easier to have this conversation with you and being able to hear God and understanding that his answer is not always going to be immediate, you're not always going to get that answer right after asking in prayer and talking to God and again, we know prayer shouldn't just be asking, I know that. But even when I'm not asking for things in prayer, it'd be selfishly right, it'd be so much easier to hear, hear a, a verbal response. Right, it's just our human side. Would, I guess, instant gratification? We would, we would prefer that.
Speaker 1:I would say, most of the time, especially maybe as a non, not a very mature Christian, I guess, and not that I guess, I mean, you know, in 10 years I hope to be in a better spot and more confident in my relationship with God, if that makes sense. Confident in my relationship with God, if that makes sense. But yeah, patience and trusting God, those are not that I don't, but they're things that I don't allow myself to do. I stop myself, I overthink things to an extent that makes me, I get frustrated, I get um, I get caught up in things that aren't really even in relation to the things that I'm beginning with. You know, I just I let myself create these stories in my head, whether it's day-to-day stuff or big life things, and I try to come up with these answers in my head on my own. Again, it's not a comforting thing to sit there and realize that I do such a poor job doing these things. I don't like it, I'm not happy about it.
Speaker 1:I'm sure that there are other people out there that find themselves in similar spots. And the thing we all go through things differently, we all deal with things differently, you know, and for me, like when I start to struggle with stuff, I guess I try to like cover it up, I try to find things to distract me, I guess, especially from overthinking stupid things, and I think there's people that maybe do the opposite. They pull themselves away, you know, they just want to be alone, to deal with it and figure it out themselves, or to work through it on their own, and I'm definitely, I guess, guilty of both things. I don't know exactly where I'm going with that, but patience and trusting God, and there's plenty of stories. There's plenty of stories in the Bible that we can look at right Like one of the first that come to mind is is the promise that Abraham and Sarah got, and they waited a long time, you know, to have a kid and their kids and a long time to be faithful that this promise was going to be fulfilled, and I don't know exactly everything that they thought and experienced and went through through that long period of time.
Speaker 1:You know it's. It's funny to think about. The things that I feel like I'm struggling with or that I'm impatient with are days, weeks, hours, and theirs was decades. It seems silly for me to struggle with these wants and these desires and not being patient when we can look at examples from the Bible of people displaying patience at a much in a much better way, and I guess I wish I could reciprocate that in areas in my life, whether it's, you know. It can be related to jobs, it can be friendships, relationships, anything, anything, just being able to trust God that he's got a plan, even when we can't see how we're going to get there. You know that God's timing is perfect and the things that seem impossible for us are more than possible with God. And that's just it's.
Speaker 1:That's a good reminder, good story to look at in Genesis, there with Abraham and Sarah. And then another obvious one is Moses and the Israelites. Right, they were in the wilderness for 40 years and they were waiting to find the promised land. And they were in the wilderness for 40 years a long time for the Israelites. They didn't all have the same amount of faith and we know that from the story. Yeah, I had a couple of verses here written down Isaiah 40, 40, 31. But those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength. And that's it's. It's. It seems easier said than done. Right like it's.
Speaker 1:It's not that I don't trust the lord, I don't trust god, I don't love god and obviously he loves us. I guess it's. It's more of just that human side of us that these things that I pray for and I ask for again, just wanting kind of that instant gratification, not being patient, is what it boils down to. We're overwhelmed by daily life, balancing work, relationships, responsibilities, just our personal struggles, and sometimes it can drain us, it can make us feel exhausted trying to deal with these things. I've got to worry about. This, this, this and this and this and this deal with these things. I gotta worry about this, this, this and this and this and this, and we're holding on to these things. That myself very much included, to these things that we need to trust. Trust God and give these things to him and let him deal with them and trust him and we'll only be stronger because of it. And just remind ourselves that God is a good father, right. A good father isn't right. Good father isn't right.
Speaker 1:The Jesus said it in in one of the shoot. I I'm not going to be able to pull this off top of my head, but I think it goes along the lines of what father who, uh, is asked for for bread, is going to give a rock. You know it seems so silly to think about, but God, god hears our prayers, he knows our wants and our desires and it's up to us to take these things to him and give them to him and not just bring them up and say, all right, brought them up to you, but I'm going to keep a hold of this, this part, with you. I'm gonna walk along with you and make sure this thing goes the way I want it. Um, even though we want to, it's it's not always easy to let go of it like that, but we need to. We need to for sure.
Speaker 1:Another one that I came across and actually I came across this clip from it was Jalen Hurts. In a pre like the media day for the Super Bowl, he brought someone, asked him a question and he brought up this answer and said you do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand. And again, it's it's not easy to give up our worries and just let things be. It's hard right. Stuff like this wouldn't be mentioned in the Bible if God didn't know that we were going to have these struggles and these questions. But they are there. They're there for us to to seek comfort in Um where we're going through situations where we can't see the, the bigger picture. Um, again, it can be anything from job to personal life, to whatever else.
Speaker 1:And sometimes we sit there and we question, you know, like why? Why is this happening? Or why isn't this happening for me, god? And one thing I think about quite a bit, and I heard it from David Brayden, carter's dad, who's been on here a handful of times, and he said that god's got big shoulders. We're allowed to go to him. We're allowed to turn to him, um, with any of our emotions, and and that can sometimes be with a little bit of anger behind it, it can be with some sadness, it could, you know, it can be with whatever God understands. Our emotions are what we want and our desires and how we feel. You know, you can even look at the book of Job.
Speaker 1:There's multiple times where he's on his knees, praying to God and asking why, and the big thing from that, though, is understanding that just because we're asking why, it's not meaning that we're turning our back on God. It's not. We're not turning away from him on God. It's not. We're not turning away from him. We're not cursing God because these things are happening. We're experiencing these things, we're losing these things that are happening in our life or that we thought we had right in front of us, like Job and being and understanding, like understanding that the things that we see is sometimes so much smaller than the picture God sees for us, and, again, it's one of those things that's hard for us to kind of take a step back from and try to even see a little bit bigger of that picture and understand that, even though we see 1% of this quote-unquote picture, if we're able to step back and even see a little bit more to 2% or 5% or whatever it is, god can see the whole picture and he's got a plan. He knows, he knows and we need to trust that and going through daily struggles right there, there, they're only going to help us.
Speaker 1:You know, even now I can look back to when I was a teenager, the things that I thought were the end of the world or the things that I struggled with. They have helped me learn things through those experiences and I everyone can say the same thing. I mean, I'm being pretty vague about it right now, but it's. It's funny now that I'm talking about this, like like I know what I'm saying. I guess I really don't, but patience is something I know. I've struggled with for a while and I can even picture.
Speaker 1:I can remember nights where I would pray for God to give me patience, you know. And then you think about things. Now that I've gone through that, I am going through that, I will go through. God's not just going to snap his fingers and say, all right, you're more patient because you asked for it, we're going to go through things, we're going to struggle through these things and learn from them, and these experiences are how we're going to get these gifts from God. Um, and that we prayed for that, we, that we asked God to give us right and he gave us these opportunities to to learn from and it's not not always easy right, and it's it's not always fun, but that's it's not always fun, but that's what we need, even when it sucks.
Speaker 1:Another one I had, or I saw, was Romans 8, 25, and it says but if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait patiently. Again, pretty, pretty straightforward there. Right, if we have something that we deeply desire, whether it's getting through a personal goal, things in our personal life like becoming more independent, whether it's fighting through a health issue, a change in daily circumstances, sometimes the wait for these things can feel like forever, like it's never going to happen. We're never going to get there. It's never going to happen, we're never going to get there. And it's really easy to become impatient and to be discouraged. And, like I said, it's okay to take those frustrations to God, but not turn from God because of our impatience, our desires of this instant gratification. I want this now. Yeah, I mean, it encourages us to be patient, to wait.
Speaker 1:While we may not have what we hope for right now, we're called to wait with patience. It's very similar, you know, to that verse from Isaiah but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength. Very similar, right, and I don't know. I don't know exactly. Again, I don't know exactly where I'm going with this or if anyone's going to get anything from me sitting here rambling for I don't know what are we at a half hour now, but hopefully I guess someone else out there that happens to listen to this maybe finds himself in a similar spot. They can, I guess, take comfort in knowing that they're not the only one, that other people struggle with this and God is there for us, and as much as sometimes we feel like it'd be easier to sit across from a table from from God and have these questions and and get answers immediately, that it wouldn't be a very fulfilling relationship with God to just have him on call and then say, all right, I'm done here, see you later when I have more problems to bring up with you.
Speaker 1:We know that we need to always turn to God in prayer. 1 Thessalonians 5.17 pray continually. It's pretty straightforward. As much as we go through the ups and downs, maybe I'm the only one that feels myself, or catches myself, praying in the highs and the lows more than the ups and the downs on the way up and on the way down of life. Maybe I'm, I don't know, but it's a good reminder for myself even and again, hopefully, someone else out there and can relate um, and then you know just, I guess, in this part, exodus 14. The Lord will fight for you. You need only to be still Pretty, pretty straightforward there, right, it's pretty straightforward there. God's on our side. God loves us, god loves you. Just keep going, keep going to God in prayer, keep growing closer to God. And and the times where you feel like you're in the lowest parts of the lows, the next time you find yourself there you'll know how to handle it. You'll feel more confident turning to God, even though you may feel like you've done nothing but turn from him and you've let yourself slip back into old patterns of of sin, your fleshly desires, whatever it might be. But, like I said, hopefully the next time you find yourself in those lows, you find it easier to turn back to God, that God's there waiting for us? Something kind of off-topic, I guess too.
Speaker 1:I guess, to wrap up, I was this past weekend. I was at the Illinois state wrestling tournament. We had some wrestlers qualify. We were there and man I it's every year and not just in wrestling, I see it. I'm obviously pretty busy and involved in sports and went through the same same things in my career, right, but wrestling is such a like grueling sport. It's such a long season for kids and especially if you cut weight and like, if you do it like me, not in a very good way, so you do it like me, not in a very good way, so you make it more miserable on yourself.
Speaker 1:Um, you get to the state tournament and things don't go your way. I there were multiple times where I saw kids that lost a match or were eliminated. Lost a match or were eliminated and you can kind of tell what other kids there don't have teammates that also qualified and that are there on their own, obviously with their coaches, but on their own, or just kids that you know they qualify but they don't feel like they deserve to be there. You know you can see stuff like that and just by watching people and seeing how they, I guess, kind of carry themselves around, and I always feel it always sucks to see people feel like they don't deserve to be there, like they don't belong there, and that can be tied to so many different things. I guess. I guess the route I'm going is is we never know. I guess I guess the route I'm going is is we never know the struggles other people are going through. We never fully understand even the people that we're closest to. We never fully understand the struggles that people go through and the struggles that people go through. And I guess it's just kind of a reminder to, I guess, one check in on the people that we care about. Make sure that they know that we're there for them, that you're there for them, that you love them, you care about them, that you're there for them, that you love them, you care about them and that, whatever they are struggling with, if they don't feel like opening up to you, that they know that God's always there to talk to them and open up to them, to them and open up to them. Sometimes it's just being with a person. If it's, you see someone you care about just not that made, just maybe seems off, that's not themselves, and maybe they're not someone that likes to open up a lot, but knowing that sometimes just your presence, just being around them, whether you're sitting in silence or talking about things that are silly, that are trivial, that that can help someone more than you realize sometimes, who knows the goal going forward again, I was just, I was so not motivated to try to record this and I still don't even know how great this will turn out Just because I guess it's kind of a confidence thing being able to sit here by myself and put thoughts and pieces from the Bible and the Word together. That makes sense in a podcast episode, really by myself. It wasn't something I was looking forward to. Together that makes sense in a podcast episode, really by myself. It wasn't something I was looking forward to. But we, I want to have I've said it the last two years and it seems silly to keep saying, and maybe one day it'll happen, but I want to be more consistent with this, but I want to be more consistent with this. We want to be more consistent with this um, looking at probably having, uh, some more guests over the next couple months, especially while carter is still absent, and um, well, yeah, I mean. Well, I'll try to be more active, social, on social media, keeping you guys updated. So if you want to follow us on instagram life beside christ podcast on instagram, uh, email us at life beside christ pod at gmailcom. Go ahead. Us an email, shoot us a follow or a message on Instagram. Even if you want to write in some prayer requests, I'm more than willing to do that on the podcast or just add it to my own personal prayers and I'm sure Brady and Carter would be more than willing to do the same. But, yeah, find us there, reach out to us. And the other thing is I'd, since our last episode, we can see, you know where people are listening from, not obviously not like who, but just where people are listening from. And it's it blows my mind. Every time I see I open up you know the app that kind of tracks our, I guess, stats for the podcast and we see a new listener from Singapore or California, south Africa. I mean it's crazy that people all over the country and all over the world are Japan. I mean it's crazy, it blows my mind that people from all over the world in the country one take the time to listen to us and me ramble half the time. But it's pretty cool, too that to see that there are people all over the world looking to learn more about god, and in different ways. So I appreciate anyone who listens to this and helps support us. Yeah, hopefully, hopefully this isn't as bad as I think it is in my head right now and you guys listening can gain something from this rambling that I do. Thank you for listening. We will catch you on the next one. You.
